How to Debate: The Three Fucks

How to debate: ‘the three fucks’

Yes guys, I know it’s ironic me doing an article on this. Yes, I have really written this. But your girl has learnt many a-things and feel like it’s time for me to share my insightful and obvious scientific knowledge.

I’ve broken it down into the three steps of my own mentality when I see or hear something I don’t agree with – let’s say it’s a little bit of a stream of consciousness. I’ve written the steps that I have taken to try and have a successful debate. Hoping that some may read this and be like huh, fair.

The reason I’ve written this? Because honestly, I’m tired of people being overruled, not allowed to state their opinion or people not understanding that a debate should be seen more as a discussion than an argument. However, here I am, yet again, trying to change the mindset behind the wonderful world of debates…

F1: Fuck it

  • I’ve seen this post and I can’t stop thinking about how you are completely wrong (in the most respectable way)
  • Time to message you in a completely jokey light- hearted moment but thinking – please get the message
  • I debate pressing send because I’ve only just started adopting this ‘fuck it’ mentality and who knows if it will work out for me :)) so idgaf right?! (also, the overthinking part – did a whole article on it: check it out… check comments x)

F2: Fuck that

  • Okay, you have made a reasonable argument here. I can’t take offence because you have made actual bullet point facts (and everyone knows people who bullet point are just a little bit aggressive (-. -))
  • Most importantly: I will reply and give you appreciation for an alternative point of view*. 
  • Importantly, I’ll give respectful acknowledgement WITHOUT undoing my last point – because I know what I stand for, and so should you.  
  • The old: ‘okay right, I get that. But you can see where I’m coming from with…’

* if this person is abusive, discriminative or downright offensive then obviously block, report and forget their name sis, they are not worth it.

F3: Fuck this

  • There are two mindsets behind this ‘fuck this’ approach:
    • F3: Part one, section a: fuck this we’ve been going around in circles and we don’t agree with each other.
      •  Don’t explicitly state ‘fuck this’ but gracefully leave the building. The exits are here (‘let’s agree to disagree?’) here (‘alright Arun fuck off’) and here (‘ooo igy xx’) only to use the last one if you actually do
    • F3: Part two, section b: you actually agree with each other and this can be considered a successful debate because it was healthy so you either end up going:
      •  ‘can’t wait to see you boo at this random gathering I’m probably not going to go to’
      •  or (worse)
      • ‘hahah this was nice’… and sound a little weird

Anyway, the running theme of the three ‘f’s’ is not to demote the idea of having a debate. I actually think they are really educational – and as you know, education is power.

 I think it’s important only to go into a debate if you know what you stand for and equally are willing to listen to the other side (because honestly, you’re just a prick if you don’t). To my brother reading this, I did learn that hard way – I know.  and yes, I’m referring to the time I asked Henry – my said brother – if I looked nice, he offered a suggestion and I berated him for about an hour. And yes, this has happened too many times (love you Henry x).

But most importantly whilst respecting what you and your opposer say, know when to draw the line. Could be two mins, could be two hours. As my mum said, if you want to create change there is no better way of doing it then doing it from the inside. I have applied that by creating a conversation and attempting to understand mindsets. But overall, a healthy debate is a debate where you can learn without it having someone feel personally attacked.

Published by lizziemurrayxo

I am a BA linguistics undergraduate at Newcastle University. I am a tutor and absolutely love talking. Education is power

3 thoughts on “How to Debate: The Three Fucks

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